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Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness: Healing After Your Loss

Losing a baby, whether during pregnancy or infancy, is incredibly difficult. There often aren’t words to describe the pain and loss that families feel. Although you may feel isolated, you’re not alone. 

Pregnancy and infant loss awareness sheds light on seldom discussed topics, like the types of loss that families can experience, coping strategies, and finding support. At Empire OBGYN, we want to offer our support and guidance during this sensitive time. We sincerely hope that you’ll find some helpful information here. 

Acknowledging Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness

When is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month?

October was designated as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month by President Ronald Reagan in 1988.  It’s a special time set aside to gently acknowledge and support families who have experienced the profound loss of a baby, either during pregnancy or infancy. 

Why Raising Awareness Matters

Talking openly about pregnancy and infant loss helps foster a more compassionate and understanding world for those who have experienced this type of loss — not to mention a sense of community. 

Sadly, pregnancy loss is incredibly common, with as many as 1 in 4 pregnancies ending in miscarriage in the U.S.. There’s more opportunity for someone to connect with another person who has experienced a similar loss than many people realize.  

When we share our stories and connect with other grieving families, we help break down the silence and isolation that often contributes to the pain we feel. Increased awareness means better support, improved bereavement care, more research, and more compassionate policies for grieving families.

Types of Pregnancy and Infant Loss

Defining Types of Loss

There are different terms used to describe the loss of a baby.

  • Miscarriage: Happens before 20 weeks of pregnancy
  • Stillbirth: A loss after 20 weeks
  • Neonatal death: Refers to a baby’s passing within the first 28 days of life
  • Infant loss: A loss within the baby’s first year
  • Other types of pregnancy loss: Ectopic pregnancies, molar pregnancies, and chemical pregnancies

Statistics and Prevalence

It’s important to understand just how common these experiences are. Miscarriages happen in about 15-20% of clinically-recognized pregnancies, with most occurring in the first trimester. Stillbirth affects about 1 in every 175 births in the US. These numbers underscore the need for support and understanding.

Emotional Impact on Families

Experiencing a pregnancy or infant loss can be emotionally overwhelming. It’s common to feel a range of emotions such as grief, guilt, anger, and confusion. These feelings are all valid and it’s important to remember that there’s no ‘right’ way to grieve. Partners may also grieve differently, which can sometimes create additional strain between couples. Healing takes time, and it’s essential to be gentle with yourself and each other.

Long-Term Effects on Mental Health

The impact of such a loss can last for a long time. Sometimes, it can increase the risk of depression, anxiety, or even PTSD. Recognizing these potential long-term effects is important, and seeking professional support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Counseling and support groups can be invaluable resources as you navigate the journey towards healing.

Supporting Someone Through Pregnancy or Infant Loss

What to Say and What to Avoid:

Instead of trying to ‘fix’ the situation or offer unsolicited advice (like “It was meant to be” or “You can always try again”), simply acknowledge their pain. Kind phrases like “I’m so sorry for your loss,” or “I’m here for you if you need anything at all,” can mean so much. It’s perfectly okay to admit you don’t know what to say. Just being present and willing to listen is often the most valuable thing you can do.

Practical Ways to Show You Care

Actions speak louder than words. Think about practical ways you can help. Offering to make meals, run errands, or help care for other children can take a load off. Gestures like creating a memory box or helping plan a memorial can also be meaningful. Remembering important dates (due date, loss anniversary) can help validate their grief and remind them of your support. 

Understanding Grief

Grief is a very personal experience. There’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to grieve, and there’s no set timeline for healing. Your friend or family member might experience a whole range of emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, and confusion. These feelings can come and go in waves. Be patient, listen without judgment, and allow them to express their feelings freely. It’s also important to remember that grief can resurface unexpectedly, even long after the initial loss.

Offering Long-Term Support

Support shouldn’t end after the initial shock. Continue to check in with your loved one. Offer to go with them to support groups or counseling if they’re open to it. Help them find ways to honor their baby’s memory — maybe planting a tree, making a donation, or other meaningful gestures. Consistent support and understanding are very important through the long journey of grief.

Finding Grief Support in Buffalo and Western New York

Navigating the journey after a pregnancy or infant loss can be a struggle. Because of this, knowing where to find support is so important. Here are some local resources in the Buffalo and Western New York area that offer help:

Online Support Communities

Connecting with others who have shared similar experiences can be helpful. Online communities offer a safe space to share and receive support. Local Facebook groups, like ‘WNY Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support’, can connect you with others in the area. Online forums, like the dedicated section for pregnancy and infant loss on ‘Buffalo Moms’ Facebook group, can also be valuable resources.

Books and Literature on Loss

Local libraries in Buffalo and Western New York have a wealth of resources available. Books like ‘Empty Cradle, Broken Heart’ by Deborah L. Davis can offer comfort and guidance. The Niagara Falls Public Library even has a support group with a book club focused on grief and loss.

Helplines and Crisis Support

Sometimes, you might need immediate support. Here are some helplines available 24/7:

Local and National Organizations

Several organizations are dedicated to supporting families through pregnancy and infant loss.

These organizations can be a supplementary source of strength and connection during a difficult time.

Medical Guidance After a Loss

Navigating the medical aspects after experiencing a pregnancy or infant loss can feel overwhelming. Here are some steps to take to help you through:

When to Seek Obstetrical Consultation

After experiencing a pregnancy or infant loss, it’s important to connect with your doctor. Scheduling an obstetrical consultation within 4-6 weeks after your loss allows you time for some initial healing while ensuring you receive the care and support you need.

During this visit, your doctor can check on your physical well-being, discuss any concerns you have, and explore any potential reasons for the loss. They might recommend some additional tests or screenings to get a clearer picture of your health.

The Role of Ultrasound Services

Ultrasound services are a valuable tool for monitoring pregnancies, especially for those who have experienced a loss. These non-invasive scans can offer reassurance and provide important information about your baby’s development, and potentially about the cause of the pregnancy loss.

In subsequent pregnancies, your healthcare provider may suggest more frequent ultrasounds to carefully track fetal growth, placental health, and other key factors. These scans can help identify potential issues early on, allowing for timely care if needed.

Thinking About Future Pregnancies

It’s completely normal to have questions and concerns about future pregnancies after a loss. Your obstetrician can offer personalized guidance based on your medical history and the specific circumstances of your previous experiences.

They might recommend preconception counseling to help you optimize your health before trying to conceive again. These include:

  • Lifestyle adjustments
  • Supplements
  • Additional screenings

During a future pregnancy, you can expect extra monitoring and support to address any anxieties or specific health concerns that may arise.

If you need a compassionate and experienced team to guide you through a loss or subsequent pregnancy, the providers at Empire OBGYN are more than happy to help. You can call to schedule an appointment or simply get answers to your questions over the phone.

Making a Difference: Raising Awareness and Advocating for Change

Want to get involved in Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month? Here are some ways where you can make a difference:

How to Participate

  • Remembrance Walks: Joining or organizing a walk in your community is a beautiful way to raise awareness and offer support
  • Wave of Light: On October 15th, light a candle at 7 pm local time to join the global Wave of Light, honoring babies who were lost too soon.

Supporting Research and Mental Health

  • Research: Supporting research is key to understanding and preventing pregnancy and infant loss. Donating to or volunteering with relevant organizations can make a real impact
  • Mental Health: Advocating for better mental health services for grieving families is crucial. Contact your local representatives to voice your support

Remembering and Honoring

Consider creating memory boxes with keepsakes can be a beautiful way to cherish memories. Planting a tree or making a garden can also serve as a lasting tribute. Participating and connecting with others by sharing your story in online forums or support groups who also understand your experience is another way.

Don’t underestimate your efforts to raise awareness and advocate for change since this can offer comfort and support to so many families.

Finding Hope and Healing After Loss

Pregnancy and infant loss is a deeply personal journey, and it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Understanding the impact of loss, finding healthy ways to cope, and connecting with available resources can make a real difference. Healing takes time, and seeking support is a sign of strength.

By raising pregnancy and infant loss awareness, you can help create a more supportive community for all families affected.

Together, let’s support each other, honor precious lives, and work toward a future where no one faces this alone. Remember, you can always reach Empire OBGYN calling us at (716) 877-1221. We’re here for you.